Why?

Why does it seem everytime I know the answer, the question changes?

Why when whatever meaning I could discern in life, suddenly does not apply anymore?

Why is it so hard?

Why couldn't I understand?

Why when you ask why, there seem to be no answer?

All my life I have asked why,

I think it is about time I stop,

I am tired of confusing myself

with thousands of reasons

that never actually answer

all my why(s)

I woke up today feeling all out of sorts, and I forced myself to write something, it's been long since I was able to write a poem down and when I did today it is some existentialist angst. I think it's horrible but at least something is there yah, whatever, I got to get my mind straight again so that I am not lost in self pity and all those shit.

I wish I could have normal emotions so that I could react properly to people who like and love me, but I am so blunted emotionally I know friends are uncomfortable to share problems or good news with me, well this was one of my why(s) and I know the reason but could never really reach the crux of the matter, hence it is still unanswered.

God! I am so messed up.