What can I write? I haven't writtten for sooooooo long. This place is draining me mentally and it is so hard to sit down and write anything. A few weeks back I had an idea to write but as usual there weren't any available computers, so I didn't get to write it down. As fleeting as ideas could get so understandably I cannot write it down now because it has gone with whatever muse that it came with.

I am now at a junction where I cannot decide what I want from life anymore. Daddy said that I should seriously decide whether  I want to stay single and be happy about it, or whether I want to marry. If I want to marry he says I better do something about it fast, lower my defences or mix around more, because he says soon only married men will be available for me (not many men of my age or older is still single) and being a second or third wife is not a pleasant position. But still I don't do anything about it, I long for a baby but trusting men or a man is difficult for me still. How am I to love if I can't trust? God help!

Why am I so mawdling, it's this new pill that the doc prescribed, it's making me moody, weepy, sleepy and very tired. Well at least it gets me writing again. Anyway whether I like it or not this is what has been on my mind for a while now and it is noy my big three oh birthday yet, what will I be feelling this September, only God knows.